WANTED: 384 adventurous renters and condominium owners to live in “Buchheit Village” on Buffalo’s Outer Harbor. The views are great, and you’ll have the opportunity to enjoy a variety of extras:
• Impress your friends by pointing to your home on Federal Emergency Management Agency’s flood plain maps and bragging about the “Special Flood Hazard Area” designation. (You might refrain from telling them about the sky-high annual premium for your mandatory flood insurance policy.)
• When the meteorologists warn that a wind-driven, 8- 12- or 15-foot wall of water will be crushing the Lake Erie shoreline the next day, invite your friends over to hunker down with you and experience the awesome power of nature.
• If you enjoy using your car or SUV every time you need groceries, when it’s time to refill a prescription, or your clothes need dry-cleaning, you’ll be in heaven living in a development that Queen City Landing’s traffic consultant describes as “car-dependent” with a “walk score” of 1 (on a scale of zero to 100, with 100 being most walkable).
• If you enjoy a constant parade of cars and the pleasant smell of exhaust fumes, you can pack a picnic basket, sit on a park bench near the sites entrance and watch your neighbors and the public pulling in and out of the development’s 777 parking spaces.
• If you’re a bit morbid, you can entertain yourself most mornings counting the carcasses of migrating birds who got disoriented by the lights of the 20-story tower the previous evening.
You better hurry. This perfect place to live will fill up fast.
Arthur J. Giacalone