By Scott Marracino
I drive a lot for work and recreation. This past summer I drove to Delaware. Feeling tired upon arrival, I saw something that made me chuckle. A residential street actually named Bizarre Drive.
I don’t know the story behind it, other than I suppose whoever named the street had a sense of humor. Can you imagine living on Bizarre Drive?
A few months later I was in the Adirondacks and passed a street called Rabbit College Road in Petersburgh. Laughing at this combined with recalling Bizarre Drive had me wondering about some of the roads with the funniest names in Western New York.
Street names can trigger the senses. The streets in Buffalo’s Fruit Belt, especially Orange, Peach and Lemon, can put food on my mind. Same with driving by Ice Cream Plaza in Akron, not far from Murder Creek. Electric Avenue in Lackawanna reminds me of that ’80s song.
If on the rare occasion I’m in a country music mood I can head down to Wagon Wheel Drive in East Amherst. Apart from sounding like a peaceful place to live, Carefree Lane in Cheektowaga conjures up thoughts of Gordon Lightfoot’s folk song “Carefree Highway.” For hard rock, I can head up to La Grange Avenue in Lockport, certainly while wearing my cheap ZZ Top sunglasses. Cue the guitar riff.
Going by A Street in either Buffalo or Depew makes me think people who reside on such streets must feel as if they’re in an Abbott and Costello routine.
“Where do you live?”
“Yes, but where do you live?”
“WHERE DO YOU LIVE?!”
Folks who live on Model City Road in Lewiston must be so proud. I try to remember how they set an example for all of us whenever I pass it by. But they may have some competition from those who live on Ideal Street in Buffalo.
Some street names really make you wonder. I guess Via Del Sole is a fine name for a street. It’s just that I wouldn’t expect to see it in Clarence. Same thing with Little Canada Road, in East Bethany, not far from Batavia. It’s a good thing I’m not faint of heart when I drive down the eerily named East or West Blood Roads near East Aurora and Elma.
Also in Elma is a puzzling road called Chairfactory. First off, it’s all one word. Secondly, I can never find a chair factory on it. Polish Place in Buffalo is also confusing. Is it named after those who hail from Poland or what you use to shine your shoes, furniture or dentures?
For style tips, I can visit those on Red Jacket Parkway and Road, in South Buffalo and Grand Island, respectively. Maybe someone on Fix Road, also in Grand Island, can help me with my home improvement needs or more serious problems. Hopefully, if I’m ever in need of a place to stay late at night I can find a room on Inn Keeper’s Lane in Amherst. Or if I’m ever kidnapped my family can find the money for my release on Ransom Road in Lancaster.
What’s the most generic street in Western New York? Why it’s Normal Avenue in Buffalo, of course.
Scott Marracino lives in Lancaster and is a very observant motorist.