To borrow an apt idea from another writer: There is no doubt that the pigs were dead. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing unusual can come of the story we are going to relate.
Put another way, we live in head-spinning times.
Researchers at Yale University were able to restore cellular activity to the pig brains four hours after the animals were slaughtered and their brains removed. The re-enlivened organs did not achieve anything like consciousness, but the blood vessels began functioning and certain cells regained metabolic activity, even responding to drugs.
The results could open the way for treatment of catastrophic conditions brought on by strokes, traumatic brain injuries and diseases such as Alzheimer’s.
But, going forward, from this day: What is dead and what is alive? What does it mean for medicine, science and ethics? And, of course, what would it have meant for Marley, Scrooge and Dickens’ three Christmas spirits?
Friendly advice: Don’t mess with Clarese. An accused burglar learned that lesson the hard way in Gainesville, Fla., when 65-year-old Clarese Gainey spotted someone trying to break into her car. The former high school softball player grabbed her bat, eased outside and gave the man a knot in the head he’ll long remember.
“I took that bat and hit him upside the head, like ‘pi-yah,’ ” Gainey said, adding that the 5-foot-6-inch, 300-pound man said, “Ow!”
Antonio Mosley was sent to jail on burglary and drug charges, according to the Associated Press. He’s lucky to be alive. “He better be glad I didn’t have a gun,” Gainey said. “Because I would have shot him.”
It might not have hurt as much.
Reps. Brian Higgins, D-Buffalo, and Tom Reed, R-Corning, are off to a good start in fundraising for next year’s congressional elections. But Chris Collins? Not a single individual contribution for the Clarence Republican. Yet another reason not to get arrested for insider trading ...