The letter in Aug. 1 Everybody’s Column regarding adopted children being “abused, raped and even murdered” by adoptive parents displays a truly profound ignorance. The conclusions “based on 17 years of research” display serious faulty reasoning. Does this person not realize what the adoption process entails?
Prospective adoptive parents are subjected to extensive study including fingerprinting, background checks and a formal home study conducted by a licensed social worker and culminating in an in-depth written report.
Those wishing to serve as foster parents must be approved in much the same manner. The extended family members who informally accept care of a child for biological parents who are unable or unwilling to do so are rarely subject to this close inspection, if any at all.
When a child is legally adopted the parents form as strong a bond, have all the responsibility, and are under all the scrutiny that a biological parent faces. Indeed, because school personnel sometimes have the same misguided notions as the letter writer, adoptive parents are often held to a higher standard.
Police officer visits? Adoptive parents experience and welcome required post-placement visits by a social worker. How many biological parents have experienced that? I speak from experience as I have been an adoptive parent for 27 years and know first hand that adoption is in almost all cases a truly beautiful experience.
Abuse is often at the hands of one with neither biological nor legal relationship to the child.
The truly tragic result of this misguided letter is that a pregnant teen will sometimes state, “I would rather have an abortion than put my child up for adoption, ‘cuz ya’ know, you don’t know what kind of parents he’ll have.” I’ve heard this one and it breaks my heart. I’m so truly blessed that two women made the choice to allow their children to be part of my family.