Relationship longevity has taken a turn for the worse. Couples go their separate ways. New relationships are formed. And those, too, typically end in disruption. There’s a clear cycle. Someone gets on our radar. We show interest. If chemistry aligns we create a relationship. We are interested. Engaged. We invest time and ourselves. We find this person irresistible and see them as the foundation of our future.
Then it happens. Chemistry fades. Arguments occur. Our partner doesn’t engage in the way they once did or we hoped them to.
Now we have a decision to make. We let our partner go, dispose of our hopes with them and our future. Set out for someone else. Or, we can invest. Find out how to make all of our pieces work together. Work out the kinks. Communicate, identify barriers and decide how to shift to create a better and more cohesive relationship.
The trouble is that in today’s fast-paced, castaway society, new partners come easily. There are millions of people in this world, and often there is a stronger pull to find what we want in someone new rather than continue to work on what we have. Cutting ties seems easier than figuring out what we need to work, so we end our current relationship and engage in a new one.
Then what happens? That new relationship continues in the same familiar pattern.
Insert the Buffalo Bills. We’ve seen it happen multiple times. We are so eager to try to “fix” what’s not working that we discard and replace quicker than coffee in a Keurig coffee maker.
It happens every year. We see new talent. They get on our radar. There’s interest. We create a relationship. Sign a contract. We are excited. Engaged. We invest time and ourselves. We find them irresistible and see them as the foundation of our success. Can this person take us to the playoffs? Can they get us to the Super Bowl? Can we beat the Patriots?
Now insert Tyrod Taylor. We saw Taylor get “dumped” this season after two less-than-desirable games. What did the weeks leading up to this look like? Success, excitement. Hope. We were invested. Then we had our conflict/rough patch and a decision had to be made. Continue to invest or bring someone else in. And we all saw the outcome. We dumped Tyrod. We then quickly saw that our new option didn’t work out as we hoped. (How could it in such a short time anyway?) It takes time. We then dumped our replacement. And just like that, we had to ask Tyrod back.
Stability and consistency is not our strong suit. And if we don’t have that overall, how can we expect it in the game?
What would have happened if we kept Marrone? Watkins? Jason Peters or Dareus? If we kept Tyrod in? If we had allowed Flutie to continue to play after taking us to the playoffs? What if we had more patience? What if we invested more time in active, constructive discussion of how to maneuver what already exists in the system we already have? What if we had more stability instead of constant change? What would our team look like?
While those guys mentioned above may not be our answers, how will we ever know? How will we be able to see what we can produce if we don’t stay together? Work together? It is my opinion that if we saw hope and production, we can see it again. With work and investment.
And what if that was the rule rather than the exception? What if we more carefully chose our partners/players rather than the “dispose and replace” that happens so frequently? If we truly invested in what we have, working within the system rather than outside?