The Miami Dolphins compounded one of the most flaccid sports traditions Wednesday: signing a player to a one-day contract to let them symbolically retire with their chosen team, usually to heal wounds.
But the Dolphins did it six times over, and each of those six players retired no fewer than 12 years ago. They "re-signed" quarterbacks Bob Griese and Dan Marino, receiver Nat Moore, guard Larry Little, linebacker Kim Bokamper and cornerback Sam Madison.
"These six former players are being added to the active roster to further emphasize the bond between the organization and the team's alumni," the Dolphins trumpeted in a release.
Five of them retired as Dolphins. Four of them spent their entire careers with Miami. Most have been employed by the Dolphins in high-profile positions.
Rank this insipid ritual alongside the sin of stepping on the logo some hockey teams place right there on their dressing-room floors, while the NHL sells welcome mats and car mats with those same logos on them.
Wipe your feet on all of it.