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Dear Abby: Friends admit ‘living it up’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

Dear Abby: I’m sick when I read about girls in great relationships who feel they are trapped and need to live life. They throw away great relationships with men who love them. How is dumping someone who loves you “living”?

I met my husband in high school. We went to parties and nightclubs and traveled – always together. We had each other’s backs and pushed each other to achieve what we wanted. And the best part was I had my best friend with me in my greatest life moments.

Now, after 23 years of marriage, I hear stories from friends who dumped their guys in order to live it up and now wish they never had. They ALL said: “Guess what you get with a one-night stand? You get left with disappointment because the guy doesn’t know what you like in bed or gives you an STD.” And while they were “living life,” the boyfriends they loved and found other people.

So, all of you out there who think you’re not living life: It’s not because of the guy you’re with. It’s YOU holding yourself back. Try life with your partner and see what happens before you throw it away for a one-night stand you’ll most likely regret.

– Living Life In Wisconsin

Dear Living Life: When a young woman writes to me saying she feels trapped and wants to live life, it indicates to me she either isn’t getting what she needs from her boyfriend or she’s not mature enough to settle down.

Mature individuals realize compromise is necessary in successful relationships, but these young women appear to prefer to gamble on all or nothing. I’m sharing your wisdom with them, but I’m not certain they will appreciate it.

Cheating not ‘fun’

Dear Abby: My wife and I have two well-behaved kids who are good students and active in our community. Our 8-year-old son is a rule follower in school and outside activities but cheats when playing games at home.

When I catch him doing it, I end the game and tell him I won’t play with him if he’s going to cheat. My wife believes the cheating is “just for fun” and I’m being too hard on him. I say I’m teaching him is cheating is wrong.

We are fortunate this happens only at home, but I’m concerned if it is left unchecked, it will be regarded as permissible and become a problem in other circumstances. What do you think? Should I let up?

– Virginia Dad

Dear Dad: No, stick to your guns. The next time you catch your son cheating, impress on him that if others catch him at it, they not only won’t want to play games with him but also may not want to be friends with him.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 60069.