Dear Abby: Last week one of my associates asked me out for drinks. I have been working with him for the same length of time that I have been married. I know he’s interested because he has been texting me about unrelated work things and is always flirting.
I am very much in love with my husband, but my co-worker is very tempting. I’m worried about hurting my husband, but at the same time I’m excited about what this new man can offer me. Did I mention that he’s the top lawyer of the firm?
– Tempted in South Carolina
Dear Tempted: Let’s pretend for a moment that the situation was reversed and this letter came from the husband you “love very much.” How would you feel if he acted on his temptation? When people marry, they promise each other certain things, chief among them fidelity. That “Alpha Dog” may want to have a fling with you may be flattering, but it isn’t necessarily a compliment.
Take a step back and consider what could happen to your career at that firm and how you would feel if things don’t go the way you’d like. (Example: An attractive woman is hired and you are dropped like a hot potato.) I’m guessing that you are not the first woman this has happened to in that office.
Grandma is feeling used
Dear Abby: My oldest daughter feels we should be available to watch or pick up our grandkids whenever she calls. I suffer from chronic pain and have good days and bad. I never know when I’ll have a bad day.
My daughter asks me to watch or have overnights with her children a month in advance. I don’t know how I will be doing then, but if I cancel because I’m not feeling well, she gets bent out of shape. We have had fights about this, and I need someone else’s advice.
I raised my kids and I love my grandkids, but sometimes I don’t feel well enough to baby-sit or have an overnight. Are grandparents obligated to watch their grandkids whenever their parents need them?
– Feeling Used in Oregon
Dear Feeling Used: If you’re feeling used, then you probably are. Your health concerns surely are no mystery to your daughter. Tell her you are glad to look after the grandchildren if you are up to it. But in case you aren’t, she should have an alternate ready to step in should the need arise, because it MAY. And don’t apologize for it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 60069.