Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We are both 29. When we have a fight, the first thing he does is text message my parents and tell them everything. I have asked him many times to please not involve them. We are adults and we should be able to handle our problems without interference from my parents. I never have, and never would, complain to his mother about him. His response has always been, “I can involve whoever I want.”
He knows I feel disrespected when he does this, and he still won’t change. Is there anything else I can do?
– Hurt in Santa Maria
Dear Hurt: Yes, you can change boyfriends.
Adult son seeks privacy
Dear Abby: I’m a 26-year-old man, currently living in Boston and in my final year of grad school. My parents help me out with finances because I have very little income.
One of the things they have done is keep me on the family phone plan. However, there’s a catch: They recently announced that my “cost” for staying on their phone plan is installing an app that allows them to track my location at all times.
In Boston, that’s not a huge deal, but when I’m visiting them in Georgia on breaks, it’s a point of contention, since I must let them know I’m taking a car. This will alert them to the fact I’ll be out, and remove any trace of privacy I might have while I’m there.
When I told them I’ll pay my portion of the bill, their response was, “Would you prefer more texts and phone calls?” How can I deal with this situation?
– Needs My Privacy
Dear Needs Privacy: Your parents are treating you like a child, although you are an adult and should be entitled to some privacy. Look into ways of getting a reasonably priced phone plan, i.e., a prepaid phone. And when you visit them, refrain from using their car if it’s an issue.