Dear Abby: My husband passed away recently and I have some items of his I’m unsure how to tastefully display to honor his memory. They are his Bible, a U.S. flag in a triangular display box (he was a veteran), a set of deer antlers, works he authored, his guitar and family photos. I don’t want to build a shrine, but I don’t want to stick these things in a closet, either.
He was passionate about his pursuits, and his passion was contagious. I want to pay tribute to him without making others uncomfortable. I have a small house, so a grouping of the items takes up significant space. The way I have them set up now is like a shrine, and it’s emotionally wrenching both for me and for visiting family. Suggestions, Abby?
–- Widow in Houston
Dear Widow: I am sorry for the loss of your husband. Not knowing how many rooms there are in your home, it’s impossible to tell you sight unseen how to display this memorabilia. However, to lessen the emotional impact, it might be better not to group these mementos all in one place. Another option would be to display the items at different times, so not all of them will be viewed at once.
Making the next move
Dear Abby: There’s a guy I go to a church with. We spent most of the day together with his family. At first, it felt a little weird, and I was the one who broke the silence while we were at dinner. We went to a dance afterward and he was a gentleman. He helped me into the car, etc. He also taught me how to dance and we had a great time. He walked me to my front door at midnight.
When I got to church the following Sunday, I thanked him for coming to the dance with me and told him I had a wonderful time. His family knows I like him a lot. I talked to my mom about it and told her I was going to ask him out. She was fine with it, but when I said something about it to friends, they said it might tarnish our friendship.
Should I ask him out or wait for him to do it? I don’t want to look dumb. And what do I say to my friends?
– Texas Girl Who’s Ready
Dear Texas Girl: When a guy spends most of the day with a girl, it’s a good bet that he likes her. Wait a week or two before making your move, because he may ask you out in the meantime. However, if he doesn’t, then casually ask him to do something with you like go to a movie or sporting event or go hiking. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And as to what to say to your friends about it, I vote for keeping your mouth firmly shut.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 60069.