Share this article

print logo

Dear Abby: Long marriage is left in limbo by wife’s attraction to women

Dear Abby: After 27 years of marriage, my wife told me she is attracted to other women. To my knowledge, she has acted on this only once.

Every day I wonder where our relationship stands. One day she can’t see herself without me; the next, she says we should divorce. I don’t know if I should end this or wait to see where it goes.

Yes, I love her, but what matters most to me is that she is happy. Any suggestions?

– Mr. D in California

Dear Mr. D: After 27 years of marriage I can only imagine how shocking your wife’s revelation must have been for you.

The book “The Other Side of the Closet,” by Amity Pierce Buxton, Ph.D., has been proven helpful to others in your situation. There is also a support group called the Straight Spouse Network (, that offers emotional support after a wife or a husband comes out as yours did.

Tongues are not funny

Dear Abby: I have a large family consisting of many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Looking through my photo albums, I can’t complain that I don’t have enough photos of my children, but it’s a parade of tongues. Their mothers all post photos on social media with their tongues hanging out. The children then mimic their moms and their photos are disgusting as well.

Please, can someone enlighten me as to the inspiration of this repulsive action?

– Closed-Mouthed in the South

Dear Closed-Mouthed: I suspect it originated back in the 1970s when Gene Simmons of Kiss licked his way to the top of the music charts. Lately, Miley Cyrus took up the torch. Children often stick out their tongues when they are forced to have their picture taken or are trying to be funny, but I don’t think Gene and Miley fall into that category.

Speak up about extra guests

Dear Abby: Sometimes I’ll call a close friend or business associate for lunch with the goal of having a quality conversation. After the lunch is set, more than one of them has then invited other people I know, but with whom I do not have the same quality relationship. It is not a pleasant surprise.

I never say anything about it, but it bothers me. Is my reaction reasonable, or should I just roll with this?

– Thwarted in Dallas

Dear Thwarted: Your reaction is perfectly reasonable. The first time it happened, you should have shared your feelings with the person who did it. Now you will have to warn the person you’re inviting in advance.

Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 60069.