Dear Abby: Our son and his wife have blessed us with a darling 6-year-old granddaughter, “Sophie,” who is the love of our lives. We live nearby and are very close.
When we received her kindergarten school photo, she had on heavy lipstick and light eye shadow. My husband and I couldn’t contain our shock. Her parents said they thought she looked beautiful, and Sophie was made up that way because “she wanted to.” We were speechless.
When we pick her up on weekends, she sometimes wears makeup, too. It makes her look like a 30-year-old. We think that wearing it while playing dress-up is fun, but doing it outside the home takes away from her natural beauty. What are your thoughts on this?
– Taken Aback in Kansas
Dear Taken Aback: Forgive me if this seems old-fashioned, but I think that a kindergartner should be allowed to remain a child for at least a few years. I’m not only surprised that your son and daughter-in-law would send their 6-year-old to school wearing makeup, I am equally surprised that the school would allow it.
And when Sophie spends the weekend with you, don’t you think YOU should make the rules about whether she’s allowed to wear makeup? Someone has to draw the line, but when you do, be prepared for some battles.
Absent in time of need
Dear Abby: My mother passed away a few weeks ago. She lived with my husband and me for the last 2ø, and I was her caregiver.
The week after she passed, my husband did not stay home even one day with me. It was the loneliest, saddest time I have ever experienced. I feel he should have stayed with me without my having to ask him. He says all I had to do was ask.
Frankly, I don’t think it was up to me to ask to be comforted. Who do you think is right?
– Grieving in Clearwater, Fla.
Dear Grieving: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your beloved mother. You were a loving, caring daughter and, I’m sure, a comfort to her in her last years.
It is sad that you and your husband have such a poor level of communication. You should not have had to ask him to remain by your side in your hour of need. He promised to do that at the altar, and from where I sit, he failed you.
Cousins’ trip excludes spouses
Dear Abby: I am a woman married to a woman. Recently we attended her family reunion. Her first cousins (all female) decided to have a meeting. When my wife returned from the discussion, her mom asked her what it was about. My wife replied that they were planning a trip with just the female cousins – no men. I feel hurt and excluded, as I am a woman, too.
Am I wrong? I can understand not wanting husbands on an all-girl trip, but am I not the exception?
– Out Of The Loop in Alberta, Canada
Dear Out: No. This trip is for cousins only; no spouses. Although all the other spouses are men, you are not a cousin, so stop looking for reasons to be hurt. My advice is to let it go.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.