Dear Abby: I recently went on a cruise with several other women. I was friendly with one of them but didn’t know the others.
I am overweight. One of the other women, “Dolores,” was also overweight, heavier than I am, in fact. She’s very proud of being Christian, but she made the comment, in front of several other people, that she didn’t mind going places with me because with me around, she didn’t feel so fat.
I was so stunned that I stayed silent. I felt hurt and ashamed. This has bothered me for months, and I don’t know what to do. Should I say something to Dolores or continue to ignore it?
– Taken Aback in Texas
Dear Taken Aback: At the dawn of humankind, a mute button should have been installed on our tongues. Usually, common sense suffices, but not with Dolores. Because her comment still bothers you, it wouldn’t be out of line for you to tell her how hurtful it was.
Student afraid of burning out
Dear Abby: I’m 17 and just started my junior year. I’m in an advanced program because I want to get into an international college and need to take these classes to get noticed. However, I’m coming unraveled. I have a job, I play soccer, and I’m the lead in a school production. On top of that, I have an insane workload, and I’m trying to cope with discovering that I’m not straight.
With everything going on, I’ve been having meltdowns nearly every day. I leave class sometimes just to hide in the bathroom. I spend hours doing homework and still don’t get everything done that I need to. I’m afraid that I’m burning out. What should I do?
– Scared and Stressed in New York
Dear Scared: The first thing to do is talk about all of this with a counselor at your school. If you are at the point where you must leave class and “hide,” you need more help than I can offer in a letter. So if counseling is available or your course load can be modified, take steps in those directions.