Dear Abby: My boyfriend, “Blake,” recently broke up with me – again. He told me in the beginning that he was bi-curious, and that he wasn’t sure he was completely heterosexual. When he broke up with me the first time, we stayed friends. Everyone seemed confused that I still wanted to hang out with him.
We started communicating long-distance again last summer. Blake broke it off again a few months later, stating that he is still questioning who he is.
Is it wrong that we’re still friendly? Should I be angrier at Blake?
– Still There For Him In Illinois
Dear Still There For Him: I don’t see why you should be angry with Blake at all. He has been honest with you from the start that he may be bisexual or gay. I can tell you from experience that gay men make wonderful friends. However, if you are ROMANTIC about him, I must caution you against trying to change him because you won’t be able to do it. He is who he is.
Sleepover not recommended
Dear Abby: I’d like your opinion on something that is creating a rift between me and my sister. My 6-year-old daughter, “Mara,” who is very sweet and mature, is used to spending the night away from me because she has been spending weekends with her grandparents since she was little. Now she wants to have overnights with “Uncle Bob,” who is not a blood relative but a good friend who is like family.
I have no concerns about this even though Bob is a bachelor who never had children. Mara loves him, he loves her, and I trust him. My sister, who is childless, feels strongly that this is not right. She thinks a 6-year-old should only be with her parents and grandparents. She tells me I should ask a psychologist. I am asking you.
– Trusting Mom In Missouri
Dear Trusting Mom: I’d be curious to know what Mara’s father thinks of this. But since you asked me, let me point out that your little girl may be sweet and mature for her age, but at 6 years old she is also inexperienced, trusting and vulnerable. Because she loves Uncle Bob, I can understand why she might want to stay overnight at his house. In 99 percent of the cases it would be OK. But in light of what we see in the news, it’s your job as a mother to err on the side of caution, and I don’t recommend it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 60069.