Dear Abby: My 17-year-old stepdaughter got her driver’s license a few months ago and has started pressuring us to put her on our car insurance. When we told her that we can’t afford it and that and if she wants to be on the insurance she has to get a job and pay for it, she had a tantrum.
About a month ago, my husband wanted her to go to the store for him. After she left, he asked me if I was angry that he let her take the car. I told him that I thought he was asking for trouble by sending her out with no car insurance. He said, “But she wants to drive so badly.” My husband now wants me to let her take me shopping and bring along our two young children.
If she gets into an accident, we could be sued for everything we have! No one is a great driver when they start out – and she’s a beginner without insurance. I have considered calling the police and telling them she’s driving without insurance. What do I do?
– No Insurance in New York
Dear No Insurance: Stick to your guns. It appears she has some growing up to do before she starts driving. If at 17 she’s still having tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, she’s not emotionally mature enough to be behind the wheel of a car.
Your concerns about her getting into an accident are common sense. Transporting young children in a car driven by an uninsured, inexperienced driver is simply not advisable.
Held back by low self-esteem
Dear Abby: I’m a 28-year-old gay man who recently graduated with a liberal arts degree. I have always struggled to support myself. I’m often discouraged because of professional and personal mistakes, which leads me to be pessimistic about my future.
I want to date. Problem is, in the past, men have been critical of my lack of success. Successful men won’t date me. Yet I feel intellectually incompatible with the blue-collar guys I’ve been with.
I’d like to be able to have conversations about literature, film and maybe world events, but the men I’m drawn to are out of my league.
Must I suck it up and take what I can get?
– Denver Po’boy
Dear Denver Po’boy: I do. It appears that in addition to self-esteem problems, you are drawn to men who are intellectual snobs. Intelligent, successful men – and women – are attracted to people who feel good about themselves and have interesting things to say. But because these individuals are often “targets,” they are not particularly drawn to people who might regard them as meal tickets.
So, by all means, get your life in order. When you dwell less on your mistakes and think positive, your chances of finding friends who share your interests will be better.