Dear Abby: My fiancé, “Jerry,” has a daughter-in-law who flashes both of us intimate parts of her body. At a recent gathering, she went down to the floor 2 feet away from where Jerry was sitting and gave us both a full view up her dress. Abby, she did it deliberately!
I had thought that the time one of her breasts popped out of her blouse was a “wardrobe malfunction.” I no longer feel that way.
Jerry is a pushover. He doesn’t say anything; he just runs away from it. I’m afraid things will only get worse. She must be trying to run me off. I can’t think of any other reason for her behavior.
We have decided to not go on vacation with them this year because of this. Jerry is doing what he can for us to avoid being around her, but he has his 1-year-old granddaughter he adores to consider.
What do you think is going on?
– Covering My Eyes in Texas
Dear Covering: I think the daughter-in-law either has no sense of modesty or she’s an exhibitionist who enjoys shocking people. Because it bothers you and embarrasses your fiancé, he should tell his son and explain how it makes the both of you feel. If the son delivers the message to his wife, it shouldn’t cause a family rift.
Breaking away from abuser
Dear Abby: A few years ago, I broke up with a guy who was emotionally and sexually abusive. We had been seeing each other for eight months. We weren’t living together, but I still was scared to break up with him because of what he might do to me. He would often call me bad names if I disagreed with what he wanted to do, and have angry outbursts in which he would throw things.
I have looked up how to safely exit an abusive relationship, but everything I find deals with what to do if you are living with the abuser. They don’t teach us in high school how to safely drop an abuser; they just tell us to drop him. How do you safely break up with an abuser when moving to the other side of the country is impractical?
– Recovering in the USA
Dear Recovering: Here is what I recommend: If you have mutual friends, tell them why you ended the relationship with him. In addition, stop going places where you know he hangs out.
If he continues to call you, tell him to stop and hang up. Then screen your calls.
If he emails, delete his messages without looking at them. However, if he follows or continues to pursue you, file a police report.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 60069.