Let’s be calm. Analytical, even. At 18 hours, 45 minutes today – that’s 6:45 p.m., for those who are already losing control – the sun will shine directly on Earth’s equator. This is an annual meteorological phenomenon, and nothing about which to become overly stimulated. It’s known as the vernal equinox.
Sorry. That was inadvertent. Shouldn’t have happened.
As we were saying, the vernal equinox occurs annually at this time. The sun shines on the equator, then moves gradually north, extending the daylight hours, providing warmth, melting snow, causing grass to turn green, leaves to SPROUT, FORSYTHIA TO BLOOM, FLOWERS TO GROW, POOLS TO BE OPEN AND ... !!!!
Sorry, sorry. It’s just that, you know, the season just ending, begun by the event that idiot scientists call the “winter solstice,” was inordinately long, brutal and unforgiving. But that’s no excuse. This is an editorial.
Where were we? Right. The flowers will bloom. Soon, the sleepy little bulbs nestled below the frozen surface will awaken and send forth their cheerful, life-saving bursts of color.
First the crocuses, then the daffodils and tulips will appear. And the hostas – don’t forget the hostas! They’ll grow anywhere! And did we mention the forsythia? We LOVE forsythia! But then, of course, there’ll be weeds to pull and lawns to mow and, later, leaves to rake, and … STOP! Who cares? What are you, crazy? After this winter? Be real.
This is your notice. Prepare the grills. Ready the boats. Wash the shorts. Free the Hawaiian shirts.