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10 things to say to get out of work Friday so you can watch UB

By the time Friday ends, Western New York might have experienced a great moment in its often-tortured sports history.

A victory by the University at Buffalo against West Virginia in the NCAA basketball tournament could help push playoff droughts, and missed calls, and cheering against the home team for a better draft position, into the background for a while. You don’t want to miss out on a potentially awesome shared sports experience.

But what about that pesky job that tends to keep you away from wings, beer and huge TV screens on weekday afternoons?

What you need is a good excuse to not be at your desk when the game tips off, excuses that sound believable on a day when the boss is going to be extra skeptical about your absence.

May we suggest a phone call that starts like this: “I’m not going to make it in today …” and continues with one of the following:

  • “The whole basement is under water.”
  • “My engine started smoking when I tried to start my car.”
  • “I don’t have a migraine yet, but I can feel it coming.”
  • “This might be too much information, but I have been in the bathroom for the last three hours.”
  • “I’m working from home today.” (More effective if you don’t say “quote unquote working from home.”)
  • “I have to take my mother to the chiropodist.” (With thanks to George Costanza)
  • “Female issues.” (Works best if you’re a woman and the boss isn’t)
  • “These (expletive) potholes! I have to get a new alignment, and there are seven people ahead of me at the alignment place so it could be a while.”
  • “The babysitter just quit.” (More effective if you have children.)
  • “A (insert wild animal that seems believable, so no bears or crocodiles) got in the house overnight. I’m waiting for animal control and they said it could be a while.”

 

 

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