Dear Abby: I need help! I have shoplifted several times. I was caught and have a police record. I am a grandparent. I know it’s wrong, and I don’t do it all the time. Is this a mental disorder? Or am I just being stupid? If I know this is wrong, why do I keep doing it? And where do I start to look for help?
– Sticky Fingers
Dear Sticky Fingers: Some people shoplift because they are criminals, some do it for “thrills,” and others do it to make up for something else that is missing in their lives. Because you know what you are doing is wrong, would like to understand your compulsion and want to stop, the person to discuss this with is a psychologist. Your physician can refer you to one, or you can contact your state psychological association.
Send a card but not a gift
Dear Abby: My girlfriend and I have called it quits after three years. Distance was the main reason. It wasn’t a bad breakup, but it’s still a difficult transition for both of us. She would rather we not see or speak to each other for a while to let things heal.
Her birthday is coming up soon, and I don’t feel right not acknowledging it. Her special day means a lot to her, and I still love and respect her for who she is. Is sending a card and gift appropriate? Or should I just leave her be?
– Distance Was the Reason
Dear Distance: Send a birthday card and tell her that because the day is special, you couldn’t let it pass unacknowledged. It shouldn’t be necessary to send a gift in light of the fact that you are no longer a couple.
Lighten up about Mexico trip
Dear Abby: My daughter is getting married in September. In June, she’s planning to have a bachelorette party in Mexico.
My husband and I have never been to Mexico, so we thought, “Why not kill two birds with one stone?” Because I’m afraid of flying, I want my husband and son to also go to Mexico, but stay at a different resort. The party is only for three days, so when everyone else goes home, my husband and I will extend our stay.
I have gone on gal vacations to Las Vegas before, where my husband has traveled with me and then gone and done his own thing. We would meet up after the gal vacation. I don’t see a problem with his traveling to Mexico, but my daughter absolutely objects. What do you think?
– No Problem in Colorado
Dear No: Could this be a telltale sign of a budding “Bridezilla”? Your daughter appears to be making a problem where none exists. If your husband and son will stay at a different resort, they might as well be back in the States. That they are in Mexico shouldn’t inconvenience or inhibit your daughter at all.