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Dear Abby: Plants should be shared

Dear Abby: My father passed away recently. Flowers and plants were sent to the funeral home. After the funeral Mass, the flowers were sent to the cemetery for the gravesite services. Afterward, I was asked to go to the funeral home to pick them up.

When I arrived, I saw my sister-in-law taking the plant her employer had sent into her car. She said it was HER plant. The next day, my other sister-in-law went to my mother’s house to retrieve the plant HER company had sent.

Abby, I have never heard of this. I thought that because the flowers and plants had been sent to my mother, it should be up to her to decide whether or not she wants to distribute them. After all, she’s the one suffering the greatest loss. What is the proper procedure for plants to be distributed after a funeral?

– Christine in Missouri

Dear Christine: The plants should be shared. Your mother is not the only person who is grieving. Your sisters-in-law are married to the sons of the deceased, so they should have the plants their employers sent to the funeral.

When there are more flowers and plants than the family can enjoy, people often have them delivered to nursing homes or homes for the elderly or disabled, where they can lend a burst of color and good cheer.

P.S. Thank-yous to the senders should be sent by your sisters-in-law for the plants they took.

Man too old for granddaughter?

Dear Abby: My 18-year-old granddaughter is seeing a 30-year-old man. What can I say to let her know he is way too old for her? I don’t want her to hate me.

– Loving Grandma in Florida

Dear Loving Grandma: I don’t think that telling your granddaughter the man is too old for her would be a good idea because it would imply that she is too young, and no 18-year-old wants to hear that. Tell her instead that you think she would have a lot more in common with someone closer to her age.

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