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Chicken wing eaters: Do it like this

Time-wasting, chicken-wings eatin’ Americans, listen up:

You can save a whole 3-½ minutes consuming a plate of one dozen wings by turning to one of two highly efficient eating styles.

The “typewriter” approach is the most efficient to consume a drum, while the “wishbone is more efficient for the flatter portion.”

The advice, which arrives – imagine that! – right in time for Super Bowl couch potatoes Sunday, comes from Major League Eating, the folks who present the International Federation of Competitive Eating each summer at Coca-Cola Field.

Following these methods, the organization said, could save Americans some 116 million hours each year, enhancing productivity in other areas not limited to channel surfing.

“This time savings represents a staggering amount of potential computing power – if we can focus it on specific tasks we can solve some of our culture’s most intractable problems,” Major League Eating Chairman George Shea said in characteristic overstatement. “The potential is greater than MOOCs, Google Glass and the Segway combined – this is our Higgs Bosun.”