LEAVE 'EM LAUGHING
CBC's Don Cherry took to Twitter to describe beleaguered Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo as "the biggest escape goat of all time." Maybe, but wouldn't Luongo have to get run out of Vancouver first?
The Clippers' Blake Griffin shot air balls on back-to-back free throws against the Hawks last month. On the plus side, he's now an honorary member of the North Korean Aeronautical Society.
DRAFT CARD BURNING
"I don't want to say that the Cleveland Browns are a bad team," wrote Gary Bachman on Facebook, "but two players they drafted have fled to Canada."
Hear about the latest Pro Bowl proposal, in which the NFL all-stars play the Cincinnati Bengals? They'd call it the Pro and Con Bowl.
FEELINGS OF JILT
Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, after football coach John L. Smith quit Weber State after just five months to replace Bobby Petrino at Arkansas: "Weber State, you just got Kardashianed."
-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times