1. FROM THE FILM ROOM
The sequel to "Dumb and Dumber" stars:
a) Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels.
b) Ozzie Guillen and Bobby Petrino.
2. THE GRIN REAPER
Larry Bird, to CBS' David Letterman, on the trademark smile of longtime NBA rival Magic Johnson: "My goal was to take three of them teeth home with me."
3. DRAFT LIKE MIKE
The talent-challenged Charlotte Bobcats are 7-54 and lottery-bound again?
Or as Bobcats fans describe their fate on NBA draft day: Err Jordan.
4. GIANT LEAP YEAR
Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, looking back on 1969: "Man walked on the moon, and the Mets won the World Series. To this day, only one of those events is considered a miracle."
5. BAD BATTING STREAK
Mark Harvey, 26, got 13 hours in jail and a lifetime ban from Camden Yards after streaking in a Batman costume during the Orioles' season opener.
"I don't recommend no one doing it," Harvey told Baltimore's WJZ-TV. "Trust me, they tackle you hard."
-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times