Over a week later, and a lot of people are still enjoying Dyngus Day. Play your cards right, and you might not have to return to work for weeks! Top Dyngus excuses: "A firetruck ran over my foot." (Hilarious, to watch a big engine from Lackawanna honking its horn to part the crowd as it navigated the narrow streets.) "I got hit by a bottle of vodka." (Lots of floats rained candy down on the crowd; one, to everyone's glee, rained vodka.) "I got punched out." (Everyone was fighting over that Anderson Cooper flap.) Finally, beautiful and simple: "I caught a chill." It was what, 30 degrees, during the parade? And there were those fire engines turning the hose on us! Well, that's one form of crowd control. Sto lat!
City of indigestion
Buffalo dilemma: A friend left leftover chicken wings in a trash can and came home to find them devoured, an empty box on the floor. Nearby was a puddle of hot sauce. And next to that sat the culprit -- her dog, clearly unhappy, pretty much the way any Buffalonian feels after scarfing too many yummy wings too fast. Our friend shamefacedly called the vet. "Feed her white bread to counteract the bones," she was told. The dog loved that, who wouldn't? And our friend was told not to be ashamed. After all, this is Buffalo. "You don't know how many dogs eat chicken wing bones," the vet said. "We get calls like this all the time."
Laughing a fortnight ago at some wildly misspelled signs, Buzz knows now that we could not top one sign in Chautauqua County that reads: "No Alcholic Beverags Beyond This Point." Ha, ha! Why, because you've already had more than enough? ... Noted, and marveled at: Whipped Marshmallow Vodka and, from Van Gogh Vodka, Peanut Butter and Jelly Vodka. One friend muses, "Imagine the martinis they can make."
That new emergency department of Buffalo General Medical Center is sure colorful! Arriving to check on a friend, Buzz was told she was in "the Purple Pod." ... All's right with the world when you hear an announcement like this, from Nickel City Chef: "Congratulations to Lloyd Taco Trucks for winning yesterday in Battle Cheese." ... On the wings of song: The Skiffle Minstrels Dance at the Eagles Club features the whimsical Skiffles playing at 8 p.m. Saturday at, ahem, the Fraternal Order of Eagles, 7269 Ward Road, North Tonawanda.
"The company can conduct all services using green products for customers with chemical sensitivities or who live high atop beanstalks."
-- Groupon, hyping a spring cleaning service