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Husband wants out of marriage

Dear Abby: I have been married for 19 years, but I cannot stay faithful to my wife. I've had a few affairs, visit "massage parlors" on a regular basis and feel my wife deserves better. I want to walk away from our marriage.

We have kids who will be affected, and it will hurt us financially, but I don't feel right staying in a marriage I can't be faithful to. I haven't told my wife about this, but I believe she knows because we haven't been intimate in months. We had discussed divorce several times in the past, but that was before the kids. Please give me some advice.

-- Living a Lie in the Mid-Atlantic

Dear Living a Lie: Feeling and behaving as you do, it would have been better for you to have divorced before you had children. However, now that you do have kids, it's time that you level with your wife.


Baffled over 'best man'

Dear Abby: I am trying to decide who to have as best man at my wedding. I asked my best friend before I got engaged. After the engagement, I received a lot of pressure -- and unwanted stress -- from my mom to have my brother as best man. I finally gave in and asked my brother. We have never been close. There's no communication and no desire for it.

My gut instinct tells me my best friend should be my best man. On the other hand, if I tell my brother he isn't the one anymore, I'm afraid it will be the final dagger in any type of relationship with him and his family.

-- Groom-to-Be in Minnesota

Dear Groom-to-Be: You're right that having asked your brother to be your best man, you should not rescind the invitation. However, I have good news. Your best friend can still be your best man. According to Emily Post, there can be two best men. She says:

"Though not so common, two chief attendants may be the right solution when you don't want to choose between siblings or close friends."