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Five Spot / Quick hitters on the light side

HERE'S THE BEEF

The cheerleading coach is out at Cypress Woods (Texas) High School, Houston's KPRC-TV reported, after one of her charges secretly recorded a rant in which the coach called her team 'highfalutin' heifers.'

JUST A NEIGHSAYER

One of the most anticipated Thoroughbred births took place at Stonestreet Farms in Lexington, Ky., on Jan. 22, when 2009 Horse of the Year Rachel Alexandra foaled a bay colt sired by two-time Horse of the Year Curlin. But hold the hoopla: Skeptics say he's close, but no Cigar.

PULL OVER, BUBBA

NASCAR and track officials have scrubbed plans for golfer Bubba Watson to drive a parade lap in his General Lee car -- the one used in TV's "The Dukes of Hazzard" -- before a Sprint Cup race in Phoenix on March 4. In keeping with the theme, they let Boss Hogg black-flag it.

COACHING THE COACHES

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on new Dolphins coach Joe Philbin completing his 21-member coaching staff: "Miami is the only team with an assistant coach in charge of counting other assistant coaches."

VOLATILE STUFF

Attention, wine connoisseurs: A new two-bottle collection commemorating South Carolina's 2010 and 2011 College World Series championships has hit the market, featuring Gamecocks coach Ray Tanner on the label. Meanwhile, Indiana's 1976 basketball vintage is on hold till the Bob Knight bottles quit popping their corks.

-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times