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Husband needs to take medication

Dear Abby: My marriage has been on the rocks since 2008, when I caught my husband talking to other girls online. He swore he would never do it again and I trusted him, only for it to happen again and again. We have a 2-year-old and I'm pregnant with our second child.

He has now placed another ad online stating that he's a single dad. I am torn. He keeps telling me he loves me and wants only me, and he doesn't know what's wrong with him. He is bipolar and not taking meds for it. He promised this time he will get help and try to get better.

This is the fifth time he has placed an ad or chatted with other girls online. I don't know if I should call it quits or keep trying. I love him and want us to be a family, but I don't know how much more I can take.

-- Torn in California

Dear Torn: Because you still love your husband, make his taking his medication a condition of your continuing the marriage. He needs to be willing to prove to you that he wants you to stay. If he won't do that, then you will have to decide if this is the way you want to spend the rest of your life. And please, for your sake and that of your kids, don't have more children with him until you're sure your marriage is on solid ground.


Skip this party

Dear Abby: My husband and I have worked hard and spent our money carefully. We are almost ready to pay off our home. I would love to have a "mortgage-burning" party, but I'm worried about showing off in this uncertain economy. Can we have this party, or should we just make our last payment and be quiet?

-- Thrilled in San Jose

Dear Thrilled: Taking into consideration that many people have not been as fortunate as you in spite of the fact that they too worked hard, lived frugally and followed all the rules, my advice is to have a quiet celebration with your husband and forgo the party.

Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.

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