1. RULED A SINGLE
Hear about the Derek Jeter-Minka Kelly breakup?
If it was because of baseball, the Yankees just split a pair.
2. GET A ZAMBONI
Q: Why isn't there a lot of demand for the new Nissan Leaf in Toronto?
A: Hockey fans fear they'll quit running by March.
3. MONEY MANAGER
Ron Gardenhire has been ejected 60 times during his tenure as Twins manager, drawing fines for each ranging from $250 to $2,500.
Or, as Gardenhire told the St. Paul Pioneer Press: "I've written more checks (to MLB) than I have the IRS."
4. SLAMMER TIME
The Yankees became the first team in major-league history -- that's 200,000 games -- to hit three grand slams in one game, against the Athletics last week.
Or as the feat is now known among seamheads, a quadruple-triple.
Seattle Times reader Bill Littlejohn, recalling the last time the Yankees had three grand slams in one day: "The morning David Wells ate breakfast at Denny's."
"If you were looking for irony," wrote Jerry Greene of ESPN.com, "England's men's soccer team had to cancel its 'friendly' against Netherlands 'due to escalating violence.' "
-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times