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A not-so-classy 'Situation'

There isn't much question that the TV show "Jersey Shore" scores high in the "most tacky" sweepstakes. But sometimes tacky can be used for profit by others who see themselves as not so tacky.

Take the recent tale of how Abercrombie & Fitch offered to pay off the MTV show if it would stop putting its sporty clothes on the overmuscled back of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. That was a real doozy, with cynics rolling their eyes, claiming it was all just a publicity ploy. (I mean we are talking Abercrombie & Fitch of the notorious catalogs in which nobody seems to be wearing any A&F clothing!)

Let's not forget that this past summer, the ravishing Renaissance city of Florence played host to the "Jersey Shore" actors and producers and the city fathers didn't like the situation -- or "The Situation" -- one bit. Maybe some extra American dollars flowed into the city's coffers, but Florence maintained its class.

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Although some of Madonna's admirers would prefer it if the pop icon didn't run herself ragged on another world concert tour, that is exactly what she will be doing next year. Madonna is recording songs for a new album and the concert will follow. Well, I suppose you can't blame her. The last tour was the highest-grossing tour for a solo artist -- ever. It was somewhere in the $400 millions. And a girl can never have too many millions.

Madonna has teamed with Smirnoff to hold a "global dance competition." The winner will join the star's troupe as they all writhe and grind their way around the world. This is the first time Madonna has chosen a dancer this way. Well, there has to be a first time for everything and everyone, even Madonna.

She'll choose her other dancers as she always has in the past.

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Burger King recently killed off its mascot, the king with the huge head. Many people do not mourn his being deposed, having found him rather creepy.

The Burger King franchise has not settled on another figurehead. Maybe they won't and will just concentrate on the food. But I came across something the other day, and though some might find it even creepier than the King, a few thinking-outside-the-box ad men might consider it.

A video just surfaced of the late Andy Warhol eating a burger. More to the point, he is eating a Burger King Whopper. At the end of the video Andy pipes up: "My name is Andy Warhol and I just ate a hamburger."

I don't know, maybe Andy can become the new face of Burger King? I'm sure he'd love the idea.

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Speaking of meat, Mark Wahlberg and his brother Donnie. No, no. This is not a dirty joke! The talented brothers have licensed the name Wahlburger from a New York-based chain, owned by one Tom Wahl. Mark and Donnie intend to open their own burger dive in their own hometown, Boston.

The boys already own several restaurants, but the appeal of being able to serve a Wahlburger was too juicy to resist.

However, I do not think Andy will become the mascot for Mark and Donnie's place. They are not ironic guys.

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Well, it's Rosamund Pike who will star opposite Tom Cruise in "One Shot." She is British and lovely. But that won't change a thing -- fans of the Lee Child-created character Tom plays, Jack Reacher, are still fuming over Cruise's casting.

As a fan of Mr. Child's novels I, too, have some reservation. But like Madonna's tours, this is going to happen, people. Relax. Tom might just surprise us.

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