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The Grammar Guru

Mr. Hayflick thought he was a good communicator and that his office correspondence proved this. For example, he recently wrote the following, which, however, can be put on a diet. Can you spot the extra weight?

"Dear Mr. Phlam:

(1) It has come to my attention that, (2) for the past week or so, the tenants (3) who live in 11A above you (4) have been playing their TV so loudly at night that you have been unable to sleep.

(5) At this point in time, I have written them (6) a letter pertaining to this situation. I have not heard from them (7) as of this date. (8) If I don't receive a timely response in the mail soon, (9) you can be assured that I shall without question contact them once more.

(10) In the future, if you have any questions whatsoever, please feel free to call me.

Yours truly,

H. Hayflick"

***

Answers

1) Change "It has come to my attention" to "I have learned."

2) Make "for the past week or so" into "lately."

3) Forego "who live in 11A above you" for "the tenants above you."

4) Change "have been playing their TV so loudly at night that you have been unable to sleep" to "have been disrupting your sleep with their TV."

5) Delete "At this point in time."

6) Let go of "a letter pertaining to this situation" for "regarding this."

7) Change "as of this date" to "yet."

8) Make "If I don't receive a timely response in the mail soon" into "If I don't hear soon."

9) Switch "you can be assured that I shall without question contact them once more" for "I'll contact them again."

10) Ditch "In the future, if you have any questions whatsoever, please feel free to call me" for "Please call if you have any questions."

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