1. NOT MUCH OF A CHOICE
Golf star Rory McIlroy said about his new girlfriend, tennis star Caroline Wozniacki: "It's nice to have someone that sort of understands what you're going through." It was either this for McIlroy, or ask Darren Clarke for a date.
2. BREATHLESS IN NEW YORK
Phillies announcer Gary Matthews called the Mets "crybabies" during last week's series between the teams. In response, the Mets players threatened to hold their breath until they turned blue.
3. HIGH PRAISE INDEED
Stay Thirsty was the winner of the Travers Stakes at Saratoga on Saturday. The manufacturers of Dos Equis beer immediately issued a statement that Stay Thirsty was "the most interesting horse in the world."
4. FOR REDD FOXX FANS
Greg Biffle picked the "Sanford & Son" theme song for his intro music before Saturday night's race at Bristol. If Biffle had won the race, he no doubt would have grabbed his chest and said, "It's the big one, Elizabeth."
5. GET THE SIRENS READY
The WNY Flash, based in Buffalo but playing home games in Rochester, won the WPS title on Saturday. The victory parade figures to be about halfway between the cities, although it might tax the police force of Oakfield.
-- Budd Bailey