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Friendship dissolves over ring

Dear Abby: A friend recently purchased a mother's ring from a pawn shop. When "Caron" told me about it, I told her she didn't have the right to wear one because she's not a mother.

Caron says it's "just a ring" with different colored stones and she has every right to wear it if she wants to. She's ending our 10-year friendship because I will not agree with her. Am I right or wrong?

-- Ring of Truth in Arkansas

Dear Ring of Truth: A ring with multicolored stones is not a military medal. There are no laws or official rules governing who may or may not wear one.

> Take a look in the mirror

Dear Abby: I have been married 11 years and have four children. During those years my husband and I struggled with our relationship. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't do the things I asked of him, and became very resentful.

Last December we agreed to a divorce and, suddenly, it seemed like everything changed between us! We started getting along and treated each other with respect -- I guess because we had the answer to our problems and we were looking forward to change. I began reflecting on our relationship and put myself in his shoes. I realized that if he treated me the way I had treated him, there would be no way I'd want to do anything for him.

I'm still trying to understand the changes I have gone through, but I feel more love now for my husband than I have for a very long time, and I have started treating him that way. He is struggling with this change and keeps waiting for me to revert to my old ways. We have put talk of divorce on the back burner and are just taking it day-by-day. I want other couples to know that if you want something to change, to look in the mirror. The only one who can change your circumstances is you.

-- Second Chance in Tacoma, Wash.

Dear Second Chance: That's perceptive, and it applies to more situations than marriage.