1. TAKE A NUMBER
Jets QB Mark Sanchez got so mad when Rex Ryan (above) threatened to bench him in a game last season, he wanted to punch his loose-lipped coach.
"I heard he wanted to fight me, but that's a long line," Ryan told ESPN.com. "I think he's still behind Channing Crowder."
2. SUNDAY DIVERS
The Colorado Rockies lost 6-2 to the St. Louis Cardinals, making them the first team in modern baseball history to lose 17 consecutive games on Sundays.
That sound you heard was the 0-16 Detroit Lions popping champagne corks.
3. BENCHED IN D.C.
Packers linebacker Desmond Bishop didn't get to join his teammates at President Obama's White House reception for the Super Bowl champs because he forgot his ID on the team plane.
In other words, he picked a bad time not to be a packer.
4. KICKING THEMSELVES
Oakland's captains messed up on their pregame options and the Raiders somehow wound up kicking off to start both halves in their 24-18 exhibition loss to the Cardinals.
So the Raiders' plummet has come to this: Just win the coin toss, baby.
5. PICTURE THIS
Kobe Bryant grabbed a man's cellphone, the man told San Diego's KGTV, because the Lakers' star believed the man was trying to take pictures of him -- during a church service. Witnesses say it was Kobe, all right: He wouldn't pass the plate.
-- Dwight Perry, The Seattle Times