Dear Miss Manners: A former school associate tagged me and several others in a picture on Facebook that featured a donation jar for a cause she is raising funds for. I went to the link provided, made a donation, thanked her for raising the funds, untagged the photo, and then said in a comment that I was "happy to donate, but please don't tag me in photos where I am not actually present. I'd rather get a message. Thanks."
She responded "untag yourself!" I had to look up the first symbol, but I think it means raised eyebrows.
Because she refused to accept my request (to not associate me with things that don't actually feature my likeness or an image that is supposed to represent me without my permission), I don't know if she'll do it again. Because I couldn't find an option on Facebook to block one's "friends" from doing this, I removed her as a "friend."
This isn't to say that she is no longer a real-life friend, just not someone that I want to allow the ability to do such things on the Internet. I also let her know that the issue wasn't my ability to disassociate myself, but her misuse of the ability to associate me with things.
She didn't address this and simply thanked me for my donation. However, someone later commented that she "handled it as Miss Manners would have done by simply saying to the person to untag themselves and thanking them for their gift! Good job -- Miss Manners would be proud!"
That comment gave me pause, and I thought I'd ask if this is the case. While I personally would've honored such a request (as I've seen them from others) because I think it good manners, maybe I'm off-center here. What say you?
Gentle Reader: That there ought to be a way for Miss Manners to untag herself, so to speak, from people who claim to act in her name. You are the one in this case who acted as Miss Manners would have done. She would never have posted anyone's picture without permission, but once that was done, mannerly behavior calls for an apology.
Don't shush the slurper
Dear Miss Manners: I really can't stand the sound of someone slurping their coffee, tea or soup. Is slurping rude and done by someone who has no manners or do I need to put up with it?
Gentle Reader: Yes on the first half of your question and probably yes on the second. Unless the slurper happens to be your own minor child, in which case you can say, "Stop -- you're driving me crazy" several thousand times. On behalf of all of us, Miss Manners wishes you good luck with that.