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Friend sends mixed messages

Dear Abby: I have a woman friend who is always saying to me, "I wish just you and I could go do something together." So the other day I called her and suggested we visit a local flea market -- which we both love -- and then go to a local festival. She replied that it sounded great, but she needed to talk to her husband, "Ted," to see if he wanted to join us.

Abby, she does this to me all the time. I'm tired of inviting her for a girls' day and having her come only if Ted is coming. Should I stop the invitations?

-- Ticked Off in Florida

Dear Ticked Off: No, before you do that you should tell her how you feel about her sending you mixed messages. And if it happens again, THEN stop inviting her.


Don't let comment get to you

Dear Abby: I recently took my official college graduation photo and was excited to show my mom. She said she was OK with my giving her one of the small photos because she didn't want to put any more holes in the wall. It really upset me.

I am the first person in my family to graduate from college. Mom's comment about not wanting holes in the wall was unacceptable. I argued with her, cried and told her how I felt. Mom told me to get out and that I had no right to tell her what to do in her house.

I'm still hurt. I feel that if she's as proud of my accomplishments as she says, she should show it. She apologized later, but her comment still stings. Please help me get over it.

-- Upset College Senior

Dear Upset: I'll try. Your mother may have been tactless, but it's important that you bury the hatchet. Her pride in your accomplishments is not as important as your own pride in them. Remember that, and no one will ever be able to make you feel diminished!

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