Too much rain for you? April's not what you wanted it to be? Well we're with you. This is not good, but we come offering a solution. When reality does not comport with your expectations, you have two choices: You can be a miserable crank even your dog will reject, or you can adjust your perceptions of reality.
Therefore, and herewith, some Very Important Reasons Why Too Much Rain is Good:
*It's not snow.
*Your chances of sunstroke are vastly diminished.
*It's good for ark-builders.
*It brings May flowers if it doesn't first drown them.
*It raises the level of Lake Erie, which feeds the Niagara River, which turns the turbines at the Niagara Power Project, which produces lots of electricity, which is sold cheaply to people who don't live anywhere near here.
*If it rains too much in April, May is bound to be perfect. Right? And June will be even better.
*It's better than raining too much in May. Or June.
*Everyone likes water.
*Did we mention that it's not snow?
*It keeps your mind off what they're doing in Albany and Washington. "Congress wants to force everyone to eat boiled rutabagas on Wednesdays." "Yeah, but it sure is raining a lot!"
*There will be lots of new sales tax revenue from people buying umbrellas and raincoats. Thus, your property taxes are bound to be lowered. It's axiomatic!
*The rain coincides with the Sabres' thrilling playoff run. Clearly, the Sabres play better when it's raining.
*Ditto the Bills, who haven't lost a game all month.
*There's less street crime.
*You come to a deeper understanding of the value of a roof.
*Donald Trump says the most fascinating things.
*It has nothing to do with the cost of gasoline.
*And finally, and perhaps most importantly:
*IT'S NOT SNOW!
Now, would somebody please find the sunscreen?