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Wondering about lack of friends

Dear Abby: I am a nice, charming, likable young man in my mid-20s. I have almost no friends. I rarely see the ones I do have because they don't live in my province. I can count the number of people I consider friends on one hand. I am close with my family, though none of them live close enough to see regularly. I work from home, so there's no one I come in contact with daily except my husband, whom I love dearly.

I know there are things I could do to meet more people and make friends, but I don't really want to. Maintaining friendships feels like more work than it's worth to me. I don't dislike people and I'm certainly not a snob. But when I have a conversation, it feels like I'm trying to be interesting for their sake and I don't really care about them.

I'm not bitter or lonely, but I don't think this is normal. Should I accept that this is who I am, or should I worry?

-- Loner in Toronto

Dear Loner: Excuse me, but there are contradictions in your letter. If you weren't concerned that there was something to worry about, you wouldn't have written to me. Now it's time for you to talk to a counselor and take a deeper look at what's really going on. My intuition tells me there may be issues you need to address.

> To vent, or not to vent

Dear Abby: I was in a long-term relationship with a man who died recently. After his death I found out he had other girlfriends while he was with me. It turns out he was a con man who used women. I feel like a fool.

When people see me, they ask about him. When I say he died, they respond by offering condolences. Should I thank them for their kindness and leave it at that, or should I tell them the truth about him?

-- Tricked in Richmond, Va.

Dear Tricked: If it will make you feel better to vent, do it. If rehashing the unhappy details would make you feel worse, keep them to yourself.

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