1. BRAVES' NEW WORLD
Remember "Spahn and Sain, and pray for rain" with 1940s Braves?
For the 2011 Mariners, it's starting to look like Felix Hernandez and Michael Pineda, and pray for a tornada.
2. PULLING A FAST ONE
Olympic sprint icon Carl Lewis is running again, this time for a New Jersey Senate seat.
Coincidence? The opposing-candidate search has been winnowed down to three finalists, all named Ben Johnson.
3. PAGING GILBERT SULLIVAN
If Maria Sharapova needs a theme song for her tennis grunting, RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com has a ready suggestion: "A Groan Again, Naturally."
If the Dodgers get divvied up 50-50 in the McCourt divorce settlement, do their scores go down in the books as split-squad games?
4. ON ICE FOR 2 GAMES
The NHL recently suspended Anaheim Ducks star Bobby Ryan for two playoff games for stomping on an opponent's foot during a game.
Or as it's known in hockey circles, a cheap skate.
5. EAST VS. WEST
And you wonder why American schoolkids have problems with geography?
As Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun asked: "How come Detroit and Chicago play in the Western Conference of the NHL and in the Eastern Conference of the NBA?"
-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times