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Mother of groom feels left out

Dear Abby: I'm the mother of four boys in their 20s. None of my sons is married yet, but because they are reaching the age where they might be soon, I have been paying attention to how weddings were carried out by our friends' children.

What's bothering me is, it seems to be all about the girl. The guys and their parents seem to be left out of almost everything.

The purpose of this letter is to remind parents of daughters that this is a big day for the groom and his parents, too. Please be considerate and include them in the planning decisions.

-- It's Our Big Day Too!

Dear I.O.B.D.T.!: If you are sharing the expenses, you should make it clear -- with a smile -- that because you are helping to pay for the event, you expect to be included in the planning and prewedding activities. Got it?


Mom's wonderful gift

Dear Abby: Every year on my birthday I would send my mother flowers. I did it for more than 25 years because of something I read as a young man in the Dear Abby column.

Mom passed away last year. So, in addition to the flowers I will place on her grave this year, I thought I'd share with all your readers this wonderful gift I received from your column. Every year it brought joy to my mother to receive my bouquet with a note of thanks.

-- Joseph in San Diego

Dear Joseph: I'm sorry for your loss. Your mother obviously raised a son with all her sterling qualities. I'm pleased the idea you took to heart when my mother wrote this column brought joy to your mother and was meaningful to you.


Tell them about typos

Dear Abby: At the end of last year you printed a letter from a reader asking whether it would be rude to ask that a letter of recommendation that contained typographical errors be retyped. You advised that it wouldn't be rude to ask, and the mistake should be corrected.

When my son was to receive his Eagle Scout honor, I sent a letter to his hero, Donald Trump, asking if he might write a short letter of recognition. Trump's reply came within a week. Unfortunately, there was an error in the letter. We called and spoke to his secretary, who was extremely gracious, corrected the letter and walked it right in to Mr. Trump. It was sent the same day.

They appreciated our contacting them rather than presenting a less than perfect letter.

-- Proud Mom in New York

Dear Proud Mom: Anyone can make a typographical error, and the fact that Donald Trump and his staff corrected the mistake quickly is a lesson for everyone who wants to succeed.

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