1. HANG ON TO YOUR HAT
A flock of seagulls divebombed the Australian Open tennis match between Andy Murray (above) and David Ferrer last week. That explains the unusually high number of drop shots.
2. FIRST-ROUND PICKS
A North Texas strip-joint manager told TMZ that the Metroplex's 60 or so adult establishments need to draft about 10,000 more strippers to meet the demand for Super Bowl XLV week. Wonder if Mel Kiper Jr. has a big board for that, too.
3. SIMPLE ENOUGH
There's a new way of determining a champion in NASCAR this year. From SportsPickle.com: "New NASCAR points system awards 10,000 points to anyone named 'Dale'."
4. AND A TWO-SHOT PENALTY
A grand jury indicted a former Sevierville, Tenn., golf-course manager on charges of cooking the books to steal $95,139 over a 26-month period, the Knoxville News Sentinel reported. In other words, just when you think you're on the green, you're in the rough.
5. NO PLACE LIKE HOME
The NBA Washington Wizards have lost their first 24 road games this season. So let's just do away with the pretense and rename them the Washington Generals.
-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times