1. SECOND CHOICE
Kobe Bryant (above) is about to become the first athlete to have a hand and footprint ceremony at Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood. Shaquille O'Neal was considered for that honor, but the theater's owners then watched "Kazaam" on DVD.
2. TESTING FATHER TIME
Evander Holyfield, 48, fought Sherman Williams in a 10-round heavyweight bout on Saturday in an event promoted as "Redemption: The Journey Begins." You'd think the only journey Holyfield is about to start is the one in an ambulance if he keeps boxing at that age.
3. PARTY LIKE IT'S 2004
The Tampa Bay Rays have signed free agents Manny Ramirez and Johnny Damon to contracts. When Trot Nixon heard about it, he called the Rays to ask if he could play right field in the Red Sox reunion tour.
4. A SHOT IN THE DARK
Some of Barry Bonds' ex-teammates may be asked to testify in his upcoming perjury trial. That's contingent on the players being able to get their enlarged heads through the courtroom door.
5. ILLEGAL CONTRACT
The owners of the Atlanta Thrashers have lost $150 million on the team in five years, and they blame faulty legal work on their predicament. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that the Thrashers have never won a playoff game, could it?
-- Budd Bailey