1. MELO'D OUT
Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov (above) put an end to trade talks with the Denver Nuggets for Carmelo Anthony. The team's new slogan is "Nothing but nyet."
2. HOOKED ON HORNS
The University of Texas and ESPN announced a $300 million deal for a new network that will air Longhorn sports and "academic content." Which academic content is that? My money's on former President George W. Bush reading "Hop on Pop."
3. ONCE IS NOT ENOUGH
HBO will replay its training camp reality series, "Hard Knocks," that features the 2010 New York Jets. The ratings should go through the roof this time. They're restoring lost footage of Michelle Ryan showing off her sock collection.
4. LITTLE SQUIRT
The NFL has reportedly ordered new Oakland Raiders coach Hue Jackson to cut his ties to a company that sells a performance supplement called "The Ultimate Spray." And I thought the ultimate spray was the breath freshener John Daly keeps in his glove compartment.
5. THE BIG PICTURE
Soccer star David Beckham, 35, filed a $25 million libel suit against a U.S. magazine, In Touch, that said he patronized a prostitute. How "in touch" is a style publication that's writing about Beckham?
-- Greg Connors