Dear Abby: I'm a fairly conservative woman, and also somewhat shy. I have been dating a man who comes from a much more casual culture than I do. This has its benefits -- he laughs often and deeply, and easily connects with people. But it also has its downside.
"Mac" has a terrible habit of talking publicly about what we do in the bedroom. He means it in a teasing way, and he's never insulting. He can't understand why it upsets me, although he is always remorseful when he realizes I'm angry. He worries that I'm ashamed of him and what we do, but I'm not. I just don't want it to be a topic of public discussion, especially with people from my church. I find it embarrassing to have my love life made public.
Mac is never mean-spirited, only vulgar, which to him is acceptable. I love him. He's a strong, kind and generous man. But I do not feel respected. The truth is, he just doesn't know how to treat me with respect. What can I do?
-- Woman of Character
Dear Woman of Character: Mac is "always" remorseful? You should not have had to tell him more than once that his talking about your sex life made you uncomfortable. He appears to crave attention any way he can get it. His lack of sensitivity for your feelings is a red flag.
Mac may be funny, strong, kind and generous, but because he doesn't understand boundaries, he isn't likely to change. What you must do is ask yourself if this is the way you want the rest of your life to be, because if you continue this relationship, this will be your reality -- and nothing will be kept private.
>Selective about server
Dear Abby: Is it impolite to ask for your favorite server at a restaurant you frequent?
-- Dining Out in Winchester, Va.
Dear Dining Out: No, it's not impolite -- in fact, it's done all the time. But if the server is popular, it's always a good idea to call ahead to reserve a table in your favorite server's section.