1. NUMBERS GAME
Would Mississippi State be playing Oregon for the BCS championship if Cam Newton (above) had decided to go there instead? That's the $180,000 question.
2. COLD (TRUTH) DUCK
Credit Oregon coach Chip Kelly with an A-plus in candor on the news that Stanford QB Andrew Luck would return to school. As Kelly told the Associated Press: "Yeah, I threw up, to be honest with you."
3. NAVIGATING THE MAIZE
The man Michigan most covets to be its next football coach is:
a) Allen Iverson (no way he'd ever get accused of practicing too much).
b) Bo Pelini (unless they can find another guy named Schembechler coaching out there).
c) Mark Mangino (what? Oh, sorry -- we thought the boosters said they wanted "a Michelin man").
d) Brady Hoke (OK, there's your Michigan man).
4. LET'S PLAY ONE
Some lucky Brewers fan who buys at least 20 tickets will be entered into a drawing to win a one-day contract, at a major-league salary, and a uniform. Now comes the tricky part: Getting Albert Pujols to buy season tickets.
5. BIRD'S THE WORD
Comedian Argus Hamilton, on Arkansas' sudden rash of mysterious fish and blackbird deaths: "It's scary. No one knows if we're about to witness the end of the world or the first episode of 'Sarah Palin's Arkansas.' "
-- Dwight Perry, Seattle Times