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Post-divorce holidays are painful

Dear Abby: I divorced two years ago, after 40 years of marriage. The divorce papers read "irreconcilable differences." I made up my mind that I wouldn't badmouth my ex-wife, would use her name when speaking of her, and would rebuild my personal and social life as quickly as possible.

Last year, I dated half a dozen widows. Without fail, during the course of the date, these lovely ladies would raise the subject of the death of their husbands. These women were beyond tears, but the pain in their eyes was evident. I heard stories about how they took care of a beloved husband while he was dying of cancer, or an unexplained sudden death and the anguish of trying to wake him from his eternal sleep.

Christmas has just passed and it has been a long time since I have felt so alone. I went to the clubhouse in our community for dinner, but all my friends were either away for the holidays or entertaining friends and family.

While I listened to these widows, I have seen steely eyes soften and even heard them laugh. What an ego booster it has been for me. What I need now is some of my own medicine. I hope one day I'll find someone who doesn't need a handsome Jack, a good golfer or a sugar daddy. Until then, I'll just have to be a

--Lonesome George

Dear Lonesome George: Because you're a good listener, please listen to me. It's time to become more involved in life. Enroll in adult education classes, learn to paint, take a writing class or get some computer training.

Volunteer your services. There are plenty of underprivileged people, people with disabilities and teens who could use a friend. Get involved in your political party, your church or a professional organization.

Take dancing lessons. Join a gym or health club. Do some entertaining and ask your friends to bring a friend. And let your friends know you're available. You may not meet the perfect somebody right away, but you'll make new friends -- and one of them may have a friend who's perfect for you.

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