1. THE FAB FIVE
LeBron James says he and his teammates are calling themselves "the Heatles," because they sell out every arena. You know what that means for next Christmas: Amazon's best-selling DVD will be ESPN's "The Decision" remastered in mono.
2. BOSTON'S BYGONE ERA
A Boston-area baseball team, the Brockton Rox of the Can-Am League, hired Bill Buckner as its manager, showing all is forgiven for the 1986 World Series. If the fans like Buckner, they're going to love his first-base coach: Bucky Dent.
3. THEY LIKE MIKE
The Browns and Broncos both want to interview former Bills head man Mike Mularkey for their head coaching positions. Mularkey is what's called an Andy Rooney Rule candidate: At the end of 60 minutes, he starts to mumble.
4. IT'S TOUCH AND GO
The lawsuit by two massage therapists against the Jets and Brett Favre over alleged sexual harassment also cited the team's "massage coordinator." That's a job? I guess Favre doesn't have to worry about future employment in the NFL.
5. HOW GRAND
Reggie Hayes of the Fort-Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel on how 84-year-old Joe Paterno relates to his players: "He treats them just like his own sons, grandsons, great-grandsons and great-great grandsons."
-- Greg Connors