1. DOG DAYS OF WINTER
Eagles QB Michael Vick, whose dogfighting conviction bans him from ever owning another one, recently said he misses being a dog owner and longs to have one as a pet someday. We'd suggest Clifford the Big Red Pitbull.
2. DELIVERED FROM JAIL
Memphis QB Cannon Smith -- the son of FedEx CEO Frederick Smith -- was arrested on charges of public intoxication. He was booked into the Shelby County Jail at 3:30 a.m. and overnighted.
3. SAY WHAT?
Mike Bianchi of The Orlando Sentinel on the new divisions in the Big Ten: "Now that the hoity-toity Big Ten has expanded, it announced a few days ago that its two future divisions will be named 'Legends' and 'Leaders.' I've got a better idea: How about 'Braggarts' and 'Blowhards?'
4. THE BEST OF THE WORST
What's another name for one of the NFL's worst teams? NFC West champion.
5. POTTED PLANT
German police raided the apartment of a 58-year-old man who had decorated a pot plant that was over 6 feet tall as a Christmas tree, complete with lights. Meanwhile, the Dolphins' Ricky Williams is looking for a new place for the holidays.
-- Seattle Times