THE MOUTH THAT ROARED: We've been trying to figure out just who Carl Paladino reminds us of lately. Voluble, intelligent, outrageous, sometimes insufferable, always unrepentant. This week it was his startling comment that Gov. David A. Paterson is "a drug addict. He's been a drug addict his entire life."
Who could it be that we're thinking of? And why do we keep thinking that Paladino's race for governor is like a "Hail Mary" pass? That he's scrimmaging from his own end zone and already behind by several touchdowns?
That's it! It's the man who was once simultaneously rated as the best and worst sports announcer, the man who people most loved to hate, the man whose ego could fill Giants Stadium and have plenty left over for Shea. Yes, it's none other (pronounced "otha") than Howard Cosell. Oh, for a matchup between those two.
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THE EARTH MOVES: What was it that happened on Wednesday? Buildings shook, windows rattled, along with a few nerves. Did Albany agree to spend less money? That would be an Earth-shaking event. Did Republicans and Democrats in Washington agree to look after the national interest rather than angle for partisan advantage? That really would cause the ground to shift. Did Buffalo's public-employee unions acknowledge that there's an economic crisis here and agree to givebacks that could help the region cope?
It was nothing as cataclysmic as any of that. It was just an earthquake.