Dear Abby: My husband, "Eric," and I are newlyweds. Several months ago, with a little coaxing, I shared my previous "history" with him. I used graphic terms and went into great detail. Eric found it extremely exciting, and we both benefited from it.
Recently, Eric mentioned how great it would be if I contacted one of my past lovers to push the envelope of passion even further. I agreed. My dinner date with the old flame was actually quite fun, with talk of the past. Eric thrilled at my description of the "date." His suggestion that I go out with my old beau and "enjoy myself" as I had when I was single, however, left me hurt and somewhat uncomfortable.
Eric hinted that a new "story" would take things to another level. He's completely OK with it, not at all jealous. I said I wasn't sure, but I'd consider it. What do you think?
-- Mrs. R. in Illinois
Dear Mrs. R.: Some "envelopes" should remain sealed. Think long and hard before embarking on the path toward which your husband is leading you. Is this really the kind of marriage you signed up for? How would you feel about Eric looking up old flames and reporting back to you?
Frankly, I think you're being pushed in the wrong direction. The result could very well be that you end up feeling used and degraded.
Not so good with names
Dear Abby: I have a difficult time remembering names, and on occasion, recognizing faces. I'm embarrassed when this happens, and I don't know what to say. What's the best way to respond to someone who recognizes me, even though I don't recognize him or her?
-- Red-Faced in Washington
Dear Red-Faced: How about this? Smile at the person and say, "Hi! It's nice to see you." And let the person who recognized you take it from there.