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Marriage comes before co-workers

Dear Abby: My wife and I disagreed with your advice to the woman whose husband was upset about his wife going out for drinks with her male co-workers. ("Pulled in Two in Pennsylvania," April 2). We have been happily married for many years, and neither she nor I feel comfortable with a female employee going for drinks with mostly males.

Drinking can lower inhibitions. Many office affairs begin in similar situations.

That woman's husband may be too protective or controlling, but he is not out of line to be upset about the situation.

-- Bob in Lewisville, Texas

Dear Bob: Thank you for your comments. I told "Pulled in Two" that her husband appears to be insecure and can change only if he's willing to own up to it. However, many readers felt differently -- distinctly differently. Read on:

Dear Abby: I speak from experience as someone who didn't realize I had boundary issues with men. I thought I was just being friendly, but my husband helped me understand where to draw the line. In doing so, I have seen how much he values our relationship and wants to protect it.

"Pulled" needs to find a way to put her marriage ahead of having fun with her co-workers. Jobs come and go; a great marriage can last a lifetime.

-- Jo Ann in Georgia

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Dear Abby: Some of the most jealous spouses I have witnessed were the ones who caroused the most. Obviously, since they cannot be trusted, they project that unwarranted lack of trust onto their mate.

-- Ilene in Corpus Christi

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Dear Abby: If "Pulled" wants to go out drinking with male associates rather than go home to her husband, she is taking the road that leads away from a strong marriage. I faced that crossroad many times throughout my life and have never once regretted telling the ladies I couldn't join them because I already had a commitment at home.

-- John in the Sunshine State

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